The new year is the typical time to make changes. I’m not sure whether it is social expectations, dissatisfaction with watching a new year come and realizing that we are in the same (or worse) position as we were last year, or just the need to have a ready-made deadline to wake up and say, “today is the day that I make a change,” (conveniently past the holiday binging period) that spurs us all to try out some form of new year resolutions.

I have slowly realized that making changes is a two-part problem. The first part is actually making the change. Whether the change is to eat less junk food, go to bed earlier, set a workout schedule, start/finish school, save more money, or to stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, changing your habits to help reach your goals is much easier said than done. I’ve lain awake at night, vowing to start the next day by waking up the moment my alarm goes off, heading to the gym for a workout, and eating a healthy breakfast. Only to awaken, hit snooze on my alarm, and vow to try again tomorrow.

We are all probably all too familiar with that part of the problem (except maybe you perfect people who have wills of steel and an incredible amount of mind control). Things always sound good in my head. Change always feels easy in theory. But in practice, it is a day by day struggle. Call me Captain Obvious, I know. But here is where it gets deep (at least to me).

The second part of the challenge comes when you start to achieve your goal. At some point in the middle of making a change you start to realize that the change is working. This is usually the part at which I look up, do a little dance, and almost break my arm patting myself on the back. A little voice in my head inevitably starts to whisper – “You’ve done great so far. You deserve a reward!” And what reward do I choose? That depends on what the goal was. If the goal was to spend less money, I most likely decide that I can finally buy that one thing (and only that one thing) I was denying myself. If the goal was to lose weight, I decide that it is absolutely ok to start eating those little Mrs. Field’s bite size cookies or to have a tasty cocktail instead of sticking to one glass of wine. But only just one. Or my perennial favorite, “I’ve been going to bed early all week, staying up late this once can’t hurt.” My reward is always tied in to the “deprivation” I experienced. Which has a way of slowly reversing any progress I’d made, snowballing into a spending spree or a weekend of “free” eating.

Because I have yet to conquer this particular affliction, I’m still trying to figure out the best way to proceed. I know the phrase “new normal” is cliché, but I think that once you have stuck with a behavior long enough to see progress, that’s exactly what it becomes, “normal.” And you can’t reward yourself for acting in a way that is “normal.” Or you risk battling the inevitable backslide.

I’ve been nicknamed Teri “Two Cents” due to my propensity for commenting on everything and giving advice (solicited and unsolicited) to everyone in my path.  Part of my personal growth has been learning when to speak and when to listen.  And also to couch my advice as a suggestion instead of a mandate.  And more importantly, to ask if someone wants my “two cents” before giving it.  And if I forget any of these self-imposed rules, I try to apologize profusely at the end.

The great thing about a blog is that I don’t have to follow my self-imposed rules.  I can offer unsolicited commentary on anything without having to apologize.  That said, my goal is to share the advice and wisdom that I’ve learned from my very opinionated mother and tweaked from my own experiences along the way.  Enjoy, and please leave feedback.  I’m always interested in knowing how others interpret, incorporate and/or internalize what I say.